March 3, 2010 by Jack
Filed under Jack's Blog
HOW TO TALK TO A MAN
1. Instead of saying: “The steps are so icy!”
Some men might answer with one of the following:
a. “I know. I nearly fell myself coming up the stairs.”
b. “Duh! That’s why they call it winter.”
c. “Come into the house through the garage like I do.”
Say this, “I need you to get the ice off the steps.”
2. Instead of asking, “Are you going to wear that tie?”
Some men might answer with one of the following:
a. “Yeah.”
b. “Duh! That’s why I’m tying it around my neck.”
Say this, “That tie doesn’t go with your shirt.”
3. On your anniversary, instead of saying, “Honey, what do you think? Did we do the right thing to get married?”
Some men might look puzzled and ask, “As opposed to what?”
Say this: “I am so happy to be married to you!”
4. Instead of saying, “You’ll never believe what crazy policy my boss announced today for all the secretaries!”
After you explain what your boss said, some men might answer with one of the following:
a. “If you don’t like your job, just quit!”
b. “That’s it! You’re not working there anymore.”
c. “I’m going down there and telling him what I think of him!”
c. “Maybe you and the other secretaries did something to cause him to do that.”
Say this: “I am so mad at my boss today for a policy he announced today for all the secretaries! All I need you to do is listen and sympathize.”
Question: Can you come up with any other phrases which women say that men never respond to properly? Also, please give suggestions on how to say it so a man will understand.
When a woman says “Could you please ___(whatever)____________”, she needs to give a time frame – a specific one. If she wants you to climb up on the roof to get the swamp cooler covered, she means in the next day or two before it snows. If she wants you to get paper towels because there is a child-caused explosion she means NOW! Maybe even five minutes ago. It helps to let the poor guy know when you need him, not just what you need.
Hey – thought I’d say hi! We just found your column through our family! Congrats!
Shannon,
You’re right, it’s not enough to say “I need you to…” It needs to be “I need you to do…today or tomorrow.”
Great comment!
Thanks, Shannon! It’s great to hear from you!
Jack
Aren’t you the author of Chelsie?
Roger,
So close, and yet so far away!
If you want, though, I could be the author of Chelsie. Give me six months.
Jack
I have to agree with Shannon. We’ve learned that we have to define “soon” and “later.”
I’ll ask my husband if he’ll take out the garbage and he says he’ll get to it soon. I usually interpret this to mean within the next hour or two. He usually defines this as having a 24 hour window.
I have also learned that I tend to make statements instead of saying what I really mean. I’ll say “The baby’s crying,” when I really mean, “I’ve been tending the baby all day. Could you please make her a bottle now that you’re home?”
Lara,
That’s good advice! I have done the same thing when my wife has requested me to do something. Our time assumptions
are completely different. Thanks so much! Jack